Two months later

I was planning on updating this regularly but till now i just couldn't bring myself to. I got my period today ( i know what you're all thinking - too much information) and its hurts. not just physically but emotionally. You know its like I'm just getting to the stage where the misscarriage isn't the first thing on my mind in the morning and my body goes "here's a wee reminder".

I would've been 4 months gone now, everyone would know. I'd have had scan. I'd be starting to buy things. People would've been asking what presents they could buy me. We would've been getting the nursery together. I shouldn't be sitting here with period pain. I should be compaining about tender boobs and putting on weight and morning sickness and weird cravings.

I hate this I hate this i hate this!!!!!!!!!

I need to feel better - i can't feel like this every month. Steven hates seeing me like this but he's the only one i can talk to. So i feel bad and keep it from him, and then it builds and builds until one day it all comes pouring out and he gets it in one go. Maybe if i let it out little by little he wouldn't get so overwhelmed.

Two days later

Its been two days since i found out i had a misscarriage. Where do i go from here? I feel empty. Lonely. Depressed. Scared. The feeling of emptiness isn't just emotional. I feel physically empty. Like there's something missing. I'll try and update this blog regularly. Any advice or comments are welcome.
Jem x